Hello dah-lings!

I know I’ve been off the radar for a while now but rest assured, a post is underway and it is going to be worth the wait!:)

But while you wait, I’d like to introduce you to a wonderful new blog! You remember Celebrity Sister? Mother of the Fabulous Two and companion in the Shopaholic Chronicles…well of course you do!

She has started her very own blog and of course, the parents passed on the better writing genes to her with a dash of humanity (something i missed out on, but what can I say, I use it well). The celebrity in her couldn’t avoid the limelight in the blogosphere either, she’s been nominated for the ‘People’s Choice Award’ in Australian Best Blogs 2012 Competition. And yes dah-lings, the award is exactly as fancy as it sounds!

Here’s a little blurb about her fabulous blog Mumchic!

This is a story about a mum who believes everything in life should be delicious , fabulous and chic. With two growing and very curious sons who mean the world, some very special family and friends to share the madness , a full time job and an insanely busy life , she’s plenty ordinary in her extra-ordinaryness. For several years now, she has been thwarting the next world war ( which might actually trigger while these words of wisdom are being penned ) every other day. She is almost a magician, she pulls delicious food out of thin air and in no time… mostly ! More often than not she has to answer  questions that wikipedia or Siri cannot.

She likes to have the biggest tub of popcorn while a drama unfolds on silver screen, especially when the world wars are at a recess. She laughs and cries. She likes to banter about life, universe and everything else. She likes to humm songs. She is both adorable and goofy. She keeps building the biggest mental database of all things chic, often wandering in and out of fashion boutiques and home decor shops. Her travel bucket list increases every day. Her pinterest even more. 

She likes to express, record the highs and lows, and observe the imperfect yet beautiful world around her. She likes to share. This journey within.

Vote for Mumchic here!


I know I’ve been away for quite some time dah-lings but you know how the simpleton life can be – crazy and unpredictable. I make this short (and somewhat sweet) post to Google.

I came in to work today after a chaotic week and I saw the image below to celebrate ‘International Women’s Day’ and suddenly everything feels awesome!

Here’s celebrating the only sex that kicks ass!

Before you start walking down this rather rocky road with thorns of all styles (must be coherent with the theme, my curious savvy souls) and curves, I urge you to rethink your decision of reading this post. There are secrets revealed, secrets so dark that the next time you find yourself standing in front of your closet trying to decide on an appropriate choice of clothing, memories of this post will haunt you. Hence, I advise you to move forward only if your heart, mind and fashion sense (however much there may be) allow you to, I cannot take responsibility for what happens beyond this point…..

So you stayed? I suppose, read on then…

Now my lovely souls, this post is almost a no-brainer! Why you ask? Good question. The title pretty much says it all. If you have ever happened to come across the Holy Book of Clothes – yes it’s out there, more protected than the Holy Grail, been passed down from generation to generation and the Holy Prophets of Fashion and Clothes protect it, you would probably know that this question has been asked for centuries. Dah-lings, did you really assume all those ancient Greek goddesses just woke up and wore their finest? No, they went and stood in front of their pretty closets while their dedicated servant trot up to them with a tray with tea and whatever might be Greek cookies with perhaps a copy of the Greek Daily (they liked their news and horoscopes, don’t judge) inscribed on stone (?). The next thing you know, the goddess is faced with a question that has perplexed humanity for eons – what will i wear today? Even savvy souls such as yours truly has slipped up on this one and trust me there is no going back. So based on my baseless research about nothing really, I decided you, my precious readers, need to know how to deal with such a situation.

Of course you already deal with it in your own way right now, you sometimes call a close friend, ask for your roommate / friend’s advice or even (unwillingly so) sometimes find yourself staring at your cat in the hope that she or he would give you a nod of approval (they never do! such lazy whisker-y souls they are). I find the whole idea of it quite amusing, now don’t go judging me, I once called a close friend before my undergrad school was going to start to ask her what she was wearing, we now of course laugh at ourselves but we’ve all been there.

So I thought it would be quite interesting to put this ‘act’ of ours in perspective – aka my perspective. I promise nothing but sarcasm and witty fun. We all know the setting, it starts from you having to be somewhere either the same day or the next or a month from now (it would make you quite sad if you’re deciding a month in advance unless its YOUR wedding). Let’s cut to the chase shall we? You standing in front of your closet and amazed at how your choices have suddenly shrunk (last time you check you had a pretty happening closet!) and the only options you have seem like they just wouldn’t cut it (also has you wondering if these clothes actually belong to you) – basically, you’re clueless. And here are the few ways you will deal with the situation at hand –

1.Free, In-house Fashion Consultant (aka Soul-tant)

When God sent us in this sad, scary, super-bad almost evil world, he sent one more person for us. Please try and ignore that instinct that makes you want to think ‘soul-mate’ – seriously, have some class. I am referring to a class of ‘souls’ way above the soul-mate grade THAT one person who will be your constant consultant. This person is either a close friend, relative, someone-random-yet-with-great-fashion-sense. And whether you admit it or not, they are responsible for saving our sweet little ass when all closet-logic fails. We take our countless combinations to them and everything depends on their look of approval. Once the verdict has been made, there is absolutely no going back.

If you must know ‘closet-logic‘ refers to the maximum level of sanity one can maintain while staring at the closet – I suppose its up to me now, educating the human race.

2. Mirror, Mirror on the wall

Remember our lovely friend Snow White who had that weird thing going on with Apples? No, we don’t call on her for help on this one, because clearly dah-ling, yellow / blue combo never caught on. She should have learned from her friends Cinderella who at least got some cheap mouse labour to bring some new clothes in.

I am referring to the only important character and perhaps the best performed role in the story. Yes it is that of The Mirror. Why? Because if that Mirror wasn’t in the story, the Wicked Witch / Queen wouldn’t be asking silly questions about fairness and hence would not get after Snow White’s case. If only the Witch had been born in the era of endless fairness creams, I bet they’d appoint her Brand Ambassador. But I digress. The Mirror, is perhaps man / woman’s best friend when it comes to the question of what to wear. It can’t talk back so atleast we have that covered, it does a good job of showing you what you look like and without uttering an annoying word you have your answer. By the way, those who rely on the mirror take its feedback very seriously. They will stand there, make eye contact with the mirror, flirt a little sometimes, check each angle and think for a while (I think this is a time for some serious telepathy stuff between mirror and person X) and then they will make their decision. If I were you, I would maintain 5 ft distance from the Mirror and person X at this time.

3. The only thing that is constant is change

No, I didn’t get the saying wrong, I just got it right for this very type. This is my favorite category to watch but the most frustrating one to endure. These crazy souls are perfectionists deep down inside and would never admit it. For them, I’d rather do a demonstration….

Person XYZ (let’s call them ‘dresser’ shall we?) has shortlisted 4 pairs of clothes.

Step 1 – Iron and wear the first choice and think ‘This looks good but not quite maybe I should try option 2 just in case…’

Step 2 – Iron and wear second option and think ‘This doesn’t look so bad, but then another option – that other shirt I wore the other day looked pretty good and I looked thinner…’

Step 3 – Out comes option 5 and the rest as they say is history followed by a pile of clothes on their bed, chair, floor and ceiling fans (yes there are those too!)

While I can’t deny the entertainment value here, this dah-lings is epic dressing fail!

4. Internet Fashion Diva

Now don’t look at this in an odd way, you know exactly who you are. Let’s not deny it, we have all once stood in front of our closet and had that surprising urge to want to look up if the combination in question or piece of clothing makes any sense at all. And then like those funky animated bulbs just pop up in cartoons, a thought pops in our pretty head, ‘what would google do’ – or in other cases, just google the damn thing! And there’s no shame in it dah-lings, that’s the beauty of it all! You can quickly sneak your laptop / PC / monster mainframe or whatever that you use to connect the internet (I’m not judging!) and sit in a corner and Google away all your closet woes. What else was the site made for right? Heck, I bet your Soul-tant couldn’t do a better job for you. I’m just saying….

5. Fundamentalist Fashionista

I love this one so much I am literally rubbing my hands in excitement. You my lovely dah-lings are the crème de la crème of the changing community (apparently it’s a thing). Which is also why you’re number 5 on my list, for those of you missing the sarcasm in my tone please go hang with Sheldon Cooper.

Anywho, so this ‘type’ of dresser, is one who loves fashion with a passion. They thrive on owning the latest piece of fashion by the top designers and know exactly what’s in season and (this is my favourite part) they are crazy about getting the combination right. I mean these souls would not dare  step out of their respective houses unless and until they knew what they were wearing met the necessary matching standard. For those of you who live with these people, you have my sympathy. I cannot imagine tolerating someone who needs to wear clothes, shoes, accessories and perhaps underwear that matches. It would be nothing but painful.

I know a very cliched line even by my standards but dah-lings need your feedback on the new template! If you have anything more to say about how awesome this space is just comment away.

It’s a been a while dah-lings but believe you me I have 4 other ‘drafts‘ in my posts folder and for some strange reason I believe I will go back and finish them. If procrastination was looking for a mascot I’d be its number one candidate. Sometimes I can be a dreamer but aren’t we all?

Where have I been? The question is where I haven’t been – you won’t believe where the simpleton life can take you. I have been sleeping, moving houses, leaving bags behind on buses, attempting self defense classes and taking friends out in the city of the dead. Now I can’t reveal the name of the city to you because I have recently realized that karma can be an absolute in your face kind of bitch but I can tell you that this place can be termed as the ‘party central’ of Australia (I’m hoping you catch the sarco tone without having to stress the gray matter…)

I am not sure if this speaks too well for me but I have been quite the movie buff off late. I don’t think I have missed any movie worth watching in the cinema. Although I did miss out on The Help and Jane Eyre, I hear those are quite good. Can’t make it to all of them can I? After all, I do have that darned thing called ‘life‘ to get back to.

I would definitely give you a list of movies that I think you should watch but aren’t all other blogs telling you the same thing and I don’t want to waste your time. Eyes straining, back hurting – the last thing I want, dah-lings, is for you to want to have to call your masseuse for an emergency back pain. Although I know you always want a good excuse. Savvy souls you were blessed with massages that you don’t need, one thing I will always envy you for.

So with my increasing expertise in the genre of Chick Flicks (yes it is a genre), I thought I’d enlighten you all with what’s this all about. I do know that some of my not-so-savvy male readers have tumbled upon this article with the thought of ‘chicks‘ and I do promise there is something for you here. And don’t let your respective imaginations wander off too far, far-fetched imaginations are not the simpleton thing.

Let’s start with the basics shall we? For all of you who have ever seen / survived a few seconds of a chick flick (and we all know you have, we have all atleast once stopped flicking channels when we caught a glimpse of the sappy storm), we quickly realize that quite a bit of it is, to put it mildly, pure bull shit. It just does not happen in real life. Remember the Cinderella reference earlier on my blog? Well what happened is that we all grew up into adults and since the Disney people couldn’t exactly re-do Cinderella over and over again since the character has class and shit and you can’t kill it with sequels like Spidey, other production houses figured out a way of doing it. And we all know that Prince Charming is a myth, plus, with time I believed more in him being gay than the mice talking and stitching bit.  And the most important part, if there was a modern day Cinderella (and there have been crazy ass versions) all PC (Prince Charming!) would have to do is the following:

– Post a status message on Facebook and ask all his friends to copy it or just tweet it (140 characters or less, baby!)

– Post an FML which goes like: Met the girl of my dreams tonight. Apparently she has curfew issues. Didn’t speak to her or see her face but she smelt of mice. Just have her shoe. Wait, how is she my dream girl? FML.

– Call Fox News and tell them Cinderella is missing who would then report ‘Unnamed girl missing from ball, only shoe recovered. America is under attack by terrorists’

And this would all end rather quickly and not the most ‘happy ending’ of ways. Hence, we need innovation and by innovation I mean new packaging. Gotta love the marketing people.

And then the question, why would anyone (even smart savvy souls like yours truly) indulge in the madness of the chick flick. There are a few good reasons although I wouldn’t vouch for them and or have statistics to prove them but really who gives a fuck about statistics?

FFF (Feel Good Factor – I know some of your minds wandered off elsewhere, the F word deception is such a distraction!), we all know its utter crap and will never occur in true life. Yet, the emotional stories have a feel good effect. It’s like being able to watch a world where all men who approached you were hot and ‘deep down inside‘ had a heart. It’s really something else that’s deep down inside so don’t get me started.

Influential Effect – For all the boys if you think your girlfriends take you to the movies to have a nice time out, well, think again. They actually take you out to show you all the ‘stunts‘ other non-existent men are pulling so you could be inspired. I’m quite sure watching a dead person sending letter to his wife doesn’t exactly ‘inspire‘ but it works for us.

Eye Candy – Okay this should have been at the top of the list. Women love the hot guys! I bet you there is a stat out there somewhere that shows Ashton Kutcher chick flicks do better than ‘random-new-cute’ actor chick flicks. So yes, when you’re at the movies and the lead actor is saying all these emotional lines (and is actually laughing his insides out at how funny they actually are) into the camera, we’re all pretty much taking it personally, in a very good way. Screw Demi Moore for taking away the young from the young!

The Drama – Okay none of the females you know will ever admit it but we love it to death. Drama, that is. While some of us like to slip away from situations that might hint the D word, others pretty much feed on it. Remember that fight with your girlfriend over ‘nothing’, I have some fantastic news for you it was actually nothing. The drama was missing. Now women watching a chick flick could have two affects on the outside world.

1. It might satisfy the thirst for drama and they might not look for it in other places. So usually movies that are highly sentimental yet have a happy ending (kinda make them thankful) are the ones that serve this purpose. Think Jerry Maguire. Yes dah-lings, if you really want to say that it wasn’t a rom-com / chick flick you got the formula wrong. Read on.

2. This goes the complete other way. In this situation the chick flicks make them search for the drama in  their lives and when they can’t find it they kind of ‘create’ it. Yes, it is actually possible to create drama. We have all the cool magic drama tricks up our sleeves and we will always take you by surprise.

Now that we have the whole purpose of the chick flick way of movies all sorted let’s focus on the good stuff shall we? What the fuck is happening in an average chick flick and let’s be honest, I don’t remember watching a chick flick that is unpredictable. Although I should single out Bridesmaids. It was a recent favorite and excluded quite a bit of the sappy-ness so kudos to them. It is very difficult to draw a line between ‘chick flick’ and ‘rom-com’. Rockstar Boyfriend and I recently discussed this, while I wouldn’t want to get into the details I can safely say a rom-com is nothing but another name for chick flicks. It just sounds less chick flick like and if you don’t believe me just go over the following section and match it with any average movie. You’ll be surprised.

Here’ the shit that Hollywood is keeping from you and I have firsthand insight on.

1. Protagonist

She is of course the star of the movie. Now while she will usually have a strong, focused, career minded front she also has (through bad experience) written off relationships but will secretly believe in the concept of true love and ‘happily every after’. She will always be simple, kind and clumsy. And of course, she has some charity business going on on the side.  She lives in a big city and may or may not be from a small town. Simpleton living the big dream etc etc. The idea is to make you fall in love with her. Did I mention she’s hot too?

2. The A-hole who is really the A-hole (AWRA)

There will of course be a love a interest whom she will stumble upon. She may or may not know him when the movie starts and he will definitely not look like the bad guy. This is guy is the shit. He’s handsome, charming, wears fancy suits, has everything going for him hence ‘the good guy’ and potentially the future daddy of the protagonist’s pretty children. Cause really all women ever want in life is a good looking man and a few kids to call him daddy.

3. The A-hole who is not really the A-hole (AWNRA)

This guy always has a drastic entry. Now, with this one, he is not even close to being slick. He’s more casual in the ‘truth is out there kind of way’. No no I don’t mean Agent Fox Mulder but I mean they will be in-your-face obnoxious kind of guys who will come and tell our protagonists the truth about life. Yes, of course, since that is absolutely normal. So when we start off they’re usually setup as the ‘Joker’ of the movie. Okay, that might be a bit extreme but you get the picture. A-hole.

4. The Dream

Now how would we ever complete the movie without the girl’s dream. And you can cross check me on this one – they ‘always’ have one. Some dialogues we never get tired of hearing (read: we go into the world’s shortest coma when we hear them):

– ‘I want to have a house in a small town with kids and a guy who really loves me, is that too much to ask for?’

– ‘I want to write for the city’s best publications.’ (And they always do, eventually.)

– ‘I want to change the world.’

– ‘I want to marry my best friend but I will waste 2 hours of your precious life to figure it out.’ (That’s really not a dream but I see potential there, any directors reading this?)

That’s the dream.

5. The Consultant

Now every girl must have a voice of madness, chaos and most of all ‘reason’. Not the little voices in our sweet little heads, these are human voices. They usually take the human form of mother, sister, best friend, colleague turned best friend etc. They’re usually funny and may even be potential future partners of the ‘a-hole who is not an a-hole’s’ best friend. Basically, they’re the fun sidekick. But they serve a higher purpose, do not be fooled by their minor role without them chick flicks would not exist. They, and you must hold your breath on this one, are the ones who always (make that 95%) scream ‘Go get him!’ Trust me, without this part chick flicks would just be flicks.

6. The Plot

Now that we have pretty much all aspects covered and all characters clear I think I still need to shed some light on the plot – this is of course the highlight isn’t it? How does this ‘particular’ chick flick manage to fulfill the age old agenda of making thousands of women cry, skip a heartbeat, lose their breath  and want an ‘ever after’. Gotta love those cliches, they never go out of fashion (consider that your simpleton quick tip of the day).  Although you’d think I’d write pages and pages on the various kind of plots, I really won’t need to. Let me demonstrate how all of the above described ‘elements’ bring together the best chick flick of the season or until the next one comes out. Do they even call them ‘hits’ I can’t be sure.

The protagonist is introduced while she’s at work or talking to a close friend or has a had a serious hangover. Followed by some ‘deep’ conversation where her ideals about love and whatnot will be revealed. This conversation will usually be held with the Consultant. Protagonist has an established or will establish a love interest and this guy (no points for guessing), will be the ‘A-hole who is really the a-hole’ (AWNRA – it’s just a bitch to type his pseudo name). So obviously now the movie will continue with the Protagonist approaching AWRA however possible. While the movie is really not about them but about The Dream, it is actually about them.

And where is the twist you ask me? Must learn to calm those eager spirits down Savvy Ones! The twist is when AWNRA makes an appearance. Fate obviously brought them together and they don’t exactly love each other at first sight but somehow always end up meeting and advising each other about life (as I mentioned, NORMAL). Moving on, ‘The Moment’ this is when something happens – the moment has a dual purpose. At one end it makes our Protagonist and AWNRA share a moment, now this could be a drunken night, a look, touch or a conversation that changes everything and at the same time she also realizes that AWRA is actually an A-hole. Seriously.

Of course, us humans never admit these things to ourselves because we just don’t have those one on ones that often but we always have The Consultant to talk sense into us and save the day. Oh and if we want to throw in a little more drama by this time AWNRA is furious (for not knowing who she is or what she wants etc) with the Protagonist and has gone far far away (read: left two blocks from home to buy milk but its all in drama dah-lings). And of course, once they kiss to the season’s hit new love song, we also find out the AWNRA will do something drastic to help the Protagonist with the Dream.

And then they live happily (n)ever after.

The End.

How is that I find myself scribbling away in a library every single time, I have reason to believe it might have something to do with my deteriorating attention span, but can’t be sure. I suppose I could use one of those direct / directly inverse relationships to prove my point but I’m just too darn lazy.

For those of you who are still confused about what the title means, I humbly advise you not to bother reading the rest. I couldn’t make the word any more obvious dah-ling. Although I must admit my first thought was ‘(b)advertising‘ (trademarked, registered, etc etc) but it lacks glamor and you know how I am all about glamour and the glitz and all that fancy craziness that comes with it. I can’t deny it, I have fantasized a Carrie Bradshaw like version of myself where I’m typing away and my own recording plays in the background with my thoughts, sigh to be Carrie on Sex and the City. For all you savvy ones, I am sure you were too busy looking at the clothes, make-up, jewelry, naked Samantha etc. on the show, but you see there was a story there. Anyway, I’d rather not have you exercise your brain cells so much, I wouldn’t want your head hurting from paragraph reading (yeah baby, rhymes!).

For the record, I have an annoying couple hanging around the library pretending to study with books open while the girl (in her attempt to not laugh loud) is laughing one of those gasping laughs (oh honey, not a turn on!). Now I am used to this and usually wouldn’t have a problem with what can be best described as ‘Library Love‘ but you can’t blame me for being annoyed with it either. Consider this, you go to your favourite library, the one with all the windows and couches. Find your newly found comfy couch and I mean next level comfy. Prop your legs up, open your laptop, have reached that tipping point of studying / distraction and are in this phase of absolute inspiration for a blog post when you hear the ‘laugh‘. And since you should not be deprived of this great moment (and I need a reason to rant about it) – I should describe the little routine they have going:

Setting: Books open, sitting across from each other, average looking souls (all in the details, dah-lings!) – my personal comments are in bold.

3:00pm – Girl looking down at her open book, boy looking down at his open book. This is when they seemed like the average students…

3:03pm – Girl looks up and smiles. And I thought I had attention span issues.

3:05pm – Girls laughs the annoying gasping laugh and then starts playing with what seems like residue from an eraser – if you must know (and I know you do), she’s putting it on his book. What attention seeking tactics!

3:07 pm – One of them looks around to check if they are disturbing anyone. HELL YEAH!

3:10pm – Both of them look down, attempting to study yet again.

3:13pm – Girl is annoying laughing again – coyly moving her hand towards the boy for his hand. So original, oldest rule in the Flirting in Library 101 book!

3:15pm – The boy spoke, he actually uttered something and there they go laughing again. Silently praying for the gasping laugh not to haunt me, oh please dear God, have some mercy!

3:20pm – Pretending to study again. This would be attempt number 4! I imagine my eyes are begging them to get a room by this time.

3:23pm – Oh wait there it is! I now see it, the universal truth. They’re writing on the book and talking. Mature, very mature.

3:25pm Gave up on making them stop by using my super (eye) powers and staring at them (screw you Superman!)

If you must know, my true opinion is one of hypocrisy on the concept of Library Love. Enough said.

Anyway, back to important business, its not like I’m anti-advertising, my degree and work experience would be worthless if I was plus Rockstar Boyfriend’s entire career would have been questionable. Yes dah-lings, the simpletons just don’t land those doctors and landlords (pun intended). Our sense of humour just wouldn’t digest those. But I am appalled by the kind of obnoxious things I see in the form ‘communicating the benefits of something’. Not exactly like that now, is it? And specially those that go out to the women (almost 70% do, they know they want to fool all shopaholics – wise asses!) setting crazy stereotypes. I thought I’d finally do it, bash them left right and center and wonder if it would do any good to society. Probably not, but who gives a fuck?

1. PMS Baby – The Sanity Napkin!

This one is a no-brainer, I have been watching ads for sanitary napkins (it’s the 2011 way of saying brutally blunt words like ‘tampons’ and ‘pads’) since I was in diapers. And I come from a conservative part of the world so the ‘technique’ with which these ads are tackled is quite different, however, amazingly enough their pattern is the same. Here’s what the ad will show you…

Scene 1: Female looking clearly distressed (about not being able to play, go out, do basic work etc.)

Scene 2: Step in mum / friend / relative / whosoever that might matter and offers a new sanitary napkin while explaining the benefits to you. Yeah that’s right, we all have long conversation about how good the absorbing elements of sanitary napkins are.

Scene 3: Female looks ecstatic – all of life’s problems have been solved and you can live again? Err yes..

Scene 4: Ad ends on happy note. Yay for sanity napkins!

Now for those of you blind enough not to see it, this is clearly an inspiration from Cinderella, where PMS-ing for little Cindy was an ordeal, enter fairy God mother to fix it. Great concept, almost like a workable formula no? Wrong.

For a truly visual depiction of this, I advise all women to watch No Strings Attached, they couldn’t have done a better job to show the crazy side of a PMS-ing household. Plus you get Ashton‘s cute looks the entire time dah-lings!

2. The Health Queen

This is a specific inspiration from a new Special K ad I saw recently. The ad features a young girl going to look for the perfect breakfast which is of course healthy, wearing sweats and looking like she’s going for the (brekkie) kill. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a Special K loyalist, but I don’t remember going out in my sweats ever looking for the perfect healthy breakfast. Believe it or not dah-lings, if I read pancakes somewhere, all the special A B C’s of the world go out of the window. Plus, if I’m not wrong we all think in terms of minutes of walking = must eat extra, just burned a few good calories there.

3. The Soul Sisters

This one’s my favourite, ALWAYS (without fail) features a group of friends, sitting and having a fun conversation and you’ll never know what this fun conversation is about because clearly you’re not invited. These girls will be all dressed up, looking like the happiest souls on earth and look like they’re on perpetual vacation. Suddenly, x product which is most likely coffee, tea, health-related-pill etc. come up and wave the commercial magic wand and problem solved. Reality check, if I may:

– When hanging out with close friends am definitely using words like bitch more than I’m smiling.

– I am most likely bitching about something and definitely not looking like someone slipped me a life-is-perfect-pill before the meeting.

– And we REALLLY do not talk about products lest waving a magic wand and making all aches and pains of life going away. Would kind of defeat the purpose of a good old gossip / whining session?

4. The Super Mom

After observing Celebrity Sister for months with her Fabulous Two (yes, Savvy Moms just might be the new fashion statement of 2011) I have realized that there is an element of truth in those ads that go out with mums multi-tasking and I can’t argue with that. However, what’s with these moms looking super fine every time? Do you really expect me to buy that Miss ‘x’ walked out of bed looking like she could do one of those ‘I’m awake and alive’ type morning shows? Think about it, they have all they need:

– Perky attitude

– Perfectly done hair

– Clean, ironed clothing

– Little bit of make-up but not too much (might give away – seriously)

– Always a voice (of God?), to solve all their problems

Funny these voices never show up in our household to rewind events and fix our problems. Ah, the perils of having a real life.

5. The Always Single Hottie

Another global phenomenon, the just around the corner hottie. This one is a classic and I bet you they’ve been reinventing the concept since advertising on TV began! The products may have evolved over time and so has the story execution but the storyline remains the same. Girl has a problem (bad skin, ugly hair, body odor), basically the kind of problems that make her feel unattractive. Then comes special cream, deo, spray, magic water etc and the girl is drastically transformed. Has been exactly 5 seconds since this female decided to use the product and enter Wonder Boy. And no she did not have to go to a party or fancy dinner to score this one – apparently he was just walking around the corner and fell in lurve right away. Point one, Cinderella reference applies here too! Only because now she can freely stretch her hands up, isn’t that just fantastic? That’s not it, he’s single, rich looking, good looking and potentially your future husband and now that’s what I call selling dreams through a deodorants and shampoo bottles. Move over Disneyland!

%d bloggers like this: